A teacher of one

I am a teacher of one. I give and have given from every aspect of my being, all five bodies of expression into the teachings of the awakened Kundalini and as has been mentioned before the Kundalini will cross over all boundaries of societal acceptance and expectation. So I have crossed these boundaries and traditions and taboos and acceptance within the western societies. I am guilty of this and though it gives me no joy to disturb anyone's status quo it is what it is.
In the eyes of some humanity I am a bad guru. An abuser. A wicked womanizing culprit of dark intention. A cult leader of the worst kind. A savior. A mad man.
Of all of the goodness or hurtfulness that is done it will only be the assumed hurtful qualities that are remembered. I knew from the beginning that this was a possibility. That the Kundalini in me would not necessarily conform to the levels of Victorian standards of conduct. That any gift of mind, of body, of blood, of voice, of divine emanation would be pilloried and condemned. Forced into the judgment and accusations and domination of the un awakened or the struggling ego by those who want and now have but cannot keep or manage due to the excess of their little(i) the inner child, the ego and its affiliates.
Yet I engaged and continue to engage in any and all ways and means in passing the Kundalini grace into people. By the written word, the spoken word, the visual presence, the energetic presence, the total submersion into the grace of the Kundalini regardless of ego or of doubt or of self preservation within society, by pain, by pleasure, by the expression of the emotional body, the intellectual body the physical body, the psychological body, and the spiritual body, by strict spiritual discipline, by strict ego management, I have given and give and have been given to by the Kundalini for about ten years now. Kundalini knows what I do and fosters that doing.
I am enjoyed by some and really severely hated by others. I receive the gifts of grace and the gifts of people and I receive the death threats and the threats of violent dismemberment. I receive the compliments and the scorn. A full spectrum of opinion and judgment upon who I am and what I do. Yet I continue.
It is you the individual that is the final arbiter on what works or does not work for you. If Kundalini teaches anything it teaches that even through a teacher of Kundalini the importance of self discipline and of self assurance and of self responsibility, self validation and self management of our thoughts and actions is the individual responsibility. We don't like to read that or know that so much in the western societies or those that are changing their behaviors in that direction. It is a truth even so.
It is said that there is no one to tell me to STOP. Yet there is. The Kundalini tells me in very clear understandings what to do or not to do. Yet no one but me will feel that direction from grace and this disturbs some because they cannot partake of that correction. Their ego needs that sense of validation that they have course corrected me in some way. That they have now controlled chrism or punished him in such a way that he must now do things that THEY want or desire him to do in the way that THEY wish it to be. Even without the Kundalini if there is no one to read or hear these words, if nobody has interest then there is no harm done. We will often choose to believe in what resonates with our ego expectations of what is right or wrong. It is from there that we often make our choices.
Sometimes we want to blame and to be a victim. We want to attain and be known for greatness. We want to be seen as suffering as a way of gaining the validation of sympathy. We want to have an edge on others. What care we cannot provide for ourselves we search for in others through the actions and positions of being helplessly taken advantage of or receiving and learning what is being offered. By a person like me. We make our own choices.
Doesn't matter that I give freely to all. Doesn't matter that people get to choose and command in what way they would like to learn or receive the grace of the Kundalini. What matters to many is the want of ego aspirations of self absorption. Of ego validation. Of ego control. I do not typically allow this to occur and it can hurt those who are not willing to shift away from it. Sacred agreements are made and when they are broken serious results can be experienced. These sacred agreements are typically broken by the ego. Ego management and self correction can be very very difficult! Not easy at all to be sure but certainly a very strong pathway up the Kundalini mountain.
It is as a rule it seems that those who are assisted will not speak and those who are not assisted, in the way they wish, will complain (loudly). So it is with the teachings that I give and in the way they are given. I have many detractors and they are loud. So I write this as a WARNING to all of you to know and to feel and to think about as you read or participate in anything that I do or give or offer or suggest. I am a tainted teacher to many. A gross abuser. A bad guru. Or a very helpful one and life saver and a point of grace to others.
You decide.
Have the strength of character and integrity to make up your own mind and find it in your own internal integrity how you feel about what I do, why I do, and who I am before you take anything that I say or do as a benefit or a loss. blessings - chrism