I am a teacher of one. I give and have given from every aspect of my
being, all five bodies of expression into the teachings of the awakened
Kundalini and as has been mentioned before the Kundalini will cross over
all boundaries of societal acceptance and expectation. So I have
crossed these boundaries and traditions and taboos and acceptance within
the western societies. I am guilty of this and though it gives me no
joy to disturb anyone's status quo it is what it is.
In the eyes
of some humanity I am a bad guru. An abuser. A wicked womanizing culprit
of dark intention. A cult leader of the worst kind. A savior. A mad
man.
Of all of the goodness or hurtfulness that is done it will
only be the assumed hurtful qualities that are remembered. I knew from
the beginning that this was a possibility. That the Kundalini in me
would not necessarily conform to the levels of Victorian standards of
conduct. That any gift of mind, of body, of blood, of voice, of divine
emanation would be pilloried and condemned. Forced into the judgment and
accusations and domination of the un awakened or the struggling ego by
those who want and now have but cannot keep or manage due to the excess
of their little(i) the inner child, the ego and its affiliates.
Yet I engaged and continue to engage in any and all ways and means in
passing the Kundalini grace into people. By the written word, the spoken
word, the visual presence, the energetic presence, the total submersion
into the grace of the Kundalini regardless of ego or of doubt or of
self preservation within society, by pain, by pleasure, by the
expression of the emotional body, the intellectual body the physical
body, the psychological body, and the spiritual body, by strict
spiritual discipline, by strict ego management, I have given and give
and have been given to by the Kundalini for about ten years now.
Kundalini knows what I do and fosters that doing.
I am enjoyed by
some and really severely hated by others. I receive the gifts of grace
and the gifts of people and I receive the death threats and the threats
of violent dismemberment. I receive the compliments and the scorn. A
full spectrum of opinion and judgment upon who I am and what I do. Yet I
continue.
It is you the individual that is the final arbiter on
what works or does not work for you. If Kundalini teaches anything it
teaches that even through a teacher of Kundalini the importance of self
discipline and of self assurance and of self responsibility, self
validation and self management of our thoughts and actions is the
individual responsibility. We don't like to read that or know that so
much in the western societies or those that are changing their behaviors
in that direction. It is a truth even so.
It is said that there
is no one to tell me to STOP. Yet there is. The Kundalini tells me in
very clear understandings what to do or not to do. Yet no one but me
will feel that direction from grace and this disturbs some because they
cannot partake of that correction. Their ego needs that sense of
validation that they have course corrected me in some way. That they
have now controlled chrism or punished him in such a way that he must
now do things that THEY want or desire him to do in the way that THEY
wish it to be. Even without the Kundalini if there is no one to read or
hear these words, if nobody has interest then there is no harm done. We
will often choose to believe in what resonates with our ego expectations
of what is right or wrong. It is from there that we often make our
choices.
Sometimes we want to blame and to be a victim. We want
to attain and be known for greatness. We want to be seen as suffering
as a way of gaining the validation of sympathy. We want to have an edge
on others. What care we cannot provide for ourselves we search for in
others through the actions and positions of being helplessly taken
advantage of or receiving and learning what is being offered. By a
person like me. We make our own choices.
Doesn't matter that I
give freely to all. Doesn't matter that people get to choose and command
in what way they would like to learn or receive the grace of the
Kundalini. What matters to many is the want of ego aspirations of self
absorption. Of ego validation. Of ego control. I do not typically allow
this to occur and it can hurt those who are not willing to shift away
from it. Sacred agreements are made and when they are broken serious
results can be experienced. These sacred agreements are typically broken
by the ego. Ego management and self correction can be very very
difficult! Not easy at all to be sure but certainly a very strong
pathway up the Kundalini mountain.
It is as a rule it seems that
those who are assisted will not speak and those who are not assisted, in
the way they wish, will complain (loudly). So it is with the teachings
that I give and in the way they are given. I have many detractors and
they are loud. So I write this as a WARNING to all of you to know and to
feel and to think about as you read or participate in anything that I
do or give or offer or suggest. I am a tainted teacher to many. A gross
abuser. A bad guru. Or a very helpful one and life saver and a point of
grace to others.
You decide.
Have the strength of
character and integrity to make up your own mind and find it in your own
internal integrity how you feel about what I do, why I do, and who I am
before you take anything that I say or do as a benefit or a loss.
blessings - chrism
